A little confession ….

So I have a little confession to make.  My Miracles! website claims I “support others in making peace with their pasts and finding the gifts in the people, circumstances and/or situations they might be blaming for their unhappiness.” It truly is my passion and over the past dozen years I have gotten pretty good at shining some light on the dark parts of our paths.

However, for a very long while now, the Universe has been unfaltering in gifting up a pretty persistent and diverse litany of challenges for me to find the blessings within.   I am usually quite resilient in the face of adversity, but in all honesty, I was feeling drained, depleted and a little defeated. I was at the point where the usual one or two nice quotes were just not going to suffice in helping me find the pony in the poop this time.  (No, that is not my confession).

It was clearly time to call in the big dogs – so I found myself scrolling through the incessant lists of brilliant perspective shifters on Pinterest.  Yes, you heard me right. While some may scoff at the countless hours folks spend populating their assorted ‘boards’, I must concede that I have grown very fond of pinning my ‘interests’ onto my impeccably organized, easily accessible, and highly personalized space.  (And no, that is not my confession either).

And then … it happened!  I came across a sizzling quote (courtesy of sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net) that unequivocally ignited my sullen spirit!  It said:Now, I’m not sure what this conjures up in/for you … but … it totally tickled my heart, fanned the flames of my weary soul and I grinned … a really big grin that led to a big old belly laugh!  Oh my … I could feel a part within me who just wanted to be THAT girl with THAT co-conspirator with THAT story that we simply could not tell!

Yikes … who lives like THAT?  For some reason, those precious words daringly invited me to step out of my tedious, safe, sensible and all too APPROPRIATE life and experience a bold, delicious, exhilarating moment of tomfoolery! In all my 55 years, there have  been less than a handful of times I can honestly remember publicly smudging the polished façade off my seemingly squeaky-clean existence!

That said, I will never forget when a good friend and I (you know who you are!) very unwittingly colored ourselves way outside the lines of our prim and proper lives!  Oh my … when we discovered what we had accidentally done, we laughed so hard we actually could not speak for a bit.   After several feeble attempts to collect ourselves in order to avoid public scrutiny, we vowed (as solemnly as humanly possible between our howls of laughter) to never tell another soul  – so no, that is not my confession either. I still smirk when I think about it …

And, I’d be completely remiss not to mention the little faux pas we experienced at our 5 star hotel in Istanbul when my hubby and I returned (sticky, sweaty and exhausted)  from a day of sight-seeing (on foot!)  in the sweltering Turkish heat.  You should have seen my face when I noticed a man with a large tray circulating through the lobby with complimentary hors d’oeuvres and assorted wines and champagne.  I delightfully plopped myself down with a tall, stemmed glass …totally lost in that glorious moment!  By the time my husband settled in beside me, I was savoring some scrumptious olives and gratefully marveling at our good fortune in finding this superb hotel!

I was about to remove my walking shoes when my husband casually mentioned that the Concierge had just informed him there was wedding reception in the lobby.  Huh??  I almost choked on an olive pit when I glanced up sheepishly only to discover several black tied men and high-heeled women who were eyeballing us with equal parts of disdain and disbelief.  Oh man … when it struck me that we were unabashedly crashing a very hoity-toity wedding, I started to laugh … loudly and not at all unobtrusively!!  At that point, the best I could do was to refrain from making further eye contact because, seriously, I was not about to leave before we slurped up the last drops of our wine.  We finally slinked away … but it was downright hilarious!!

It’s hard to fathom that I might want more cheeky fun moments like that because I have always been so darned appropriate.  Of course, those of you who have read my prior blog know that I was completely committed to being ‘the good girl’ growing up in order to escape any possible condemnation from the ‘better-thans’.  Then, I wisely opted to forgo anything that resembled mischief making in my noble efforts to set a decent example  for my three daughters … sigh.  Then, my passionate dream of becoming a counselor and life coach came with the explicit expectation of maintaining impeccable character.  And … if that weren’t enough to squelch any lingering notions of tarnishing my halo, I work and live in a small, rural town of about 8800 people.  There is no way to do anything anonymously in our neck of the woods.

As a result, I am downright pathetic at instigating any shenanigans because, when push comes to shove, I am far more committed to avoiding censure.  This is not to suggest that I don’t have any skeletons in my closet … I absolutely do.  I think we all do. But, I am not talking about logging  moments of shame or regret … I’m more drawn to the idea of adding a little glitter to my fairly pale and humdrum existence.

The truth is that beneath my safe, sensible, goodie-two shoe veneer, there is also a part of me just aching to be led astray!  And … if I can find a way to do it without losing my job, betraying my husband’s trust or compromising my children’s love and respect, I’m in!  Lead me astray … please! (Yes, that is my little confession …)

It just feels like the time is right to punctuate my hyper-vigilant life with  some daring and delightful ways to have a little cheeky fun! So, here I am, appealing to you all publicly for some playful ideas of how to ‘skid in broadside‘ …! If any of my good friends are inspired to be a bodacious accomplice, please message me!

In anticipation of your stories and suggestions, I have created a brand new ‘board’ on Pinterest where I can collect all the grin-worthy possibilities! I am calling it ‘Thelma & Louise’ … of course, Thelma will be deaf and Louise won’t speak English … but I sure hope to see you there!

With a twinkle in my eye,  Karen

P.S.(photo courtesy of pbs.twimg.com)